What was I going to do? My mind was in turmoil! How was I going to feed my family? My normal music teaching income was over until fall, and that was our grocery money. Usually I had money saved for the summer months, but this year we had encountered many unexpected necessary expenditures, and it was gone. There was not a penny for three months of groceries! The weight of this burden ate at me, stealing my peace.
I sat down that morning on our sofa. Brilliant sunlight streamed through the living room window, but my heart did not embrace it. Instead, I poured out my fears to the Lord. Then I opened His word, and He met me there. Hebrews 3 and 4 reiterated how the Israelites did not enter the Promised Land, God’s promised rest, for forty years. God was with them. He was ready to lead them into their “promised rest,” but why didn’t they receive it? Hebrews 3:19 leapt off the page into my heart: “So we see that they were unable to enter because of unbelief.” Unbelief, lack of trusting God, kept them from their promised rest. And that was what was keeping me from the “rest” God wanted me to have. God was with me. He had promised to always meet our needs. But, I was trusting in myself; in what I could see and provide, instead of trusting in my loving, caring, heavenly Father who promises to never leave us or forsake us.
I repented. “God,” I said, “Please forgive me for not trusting You. Please forgive me for looking at what I can see instead of You, the God of all provision. I know that even though I do not know how You will do it, You will provide. Thank you, Lord!”
I rose from the sofa singing, with joy and peace in my heart. And that joy and peace continued through the summer months as I watched God provide in strange and unique ways. Though the meals were often not what we normally ate, we never missed a meal! In the midst of scarcity, trusting God gave me peace, joy, and provision.
Praying for peace, joy, and provision for you,
Lisa Veach